After reading my last blog, where I perceived our journey through autism as a marathon, a friend wrote a comment. She says, "I
feel it's not a marathon or a sprint... Its a walk you take with your
child everyday, watching them grow, struggle and in pain....and each
passing day you will realize the importance of life, small things ...a
smile, a laugh, a gesture, a simple beautiful childhood, which we usually ignore in a normal life." I must admit, this is a better point of view. It is very appropriate to call it a walk.
Avani and I are indeed walking together. In fact, our entire family is taking this walk with us. Those small-small milestones that parents of typical kids take for granted mean so much for a child on the spectrum. I remember the joy we felt when Avani started imitating actions and sounds last year. Our excitement knew no bounds. I could just go on and on hear her repeat mama, papa, nona, nani, dada, dadi after me!!! Even going on to enjoy her repeat silly sounds like 'kee-koo', 'pee-po' blah blah!!!
While we do spend a lot of time cribbing and crying over what we don't have, appreciation for what we do takes a back seat. I get to meet mothers of children with special needs almost on a daily basis. In one of our conversations, a mother of an autistic child said, "isse to acha isse CP(Cerebral Palsy) hota, at least we wouldn't have to worry about cognitive development and hyperactivity." Imagine the plight of a mother who is asking for one disability to replace another. As a parent on the spectrum, the first lesson that one learns is not to judge any parent. We do encounter innumerable difficulties in dealing with our children on a daily basis. May be her child gave her a hard time that day. But my assurance to her was only to be thankful to God for small mercies. Look at the fact that your child has no physical disability. If we work hard on our autistic children, it will be much easier for them to mix up in a crowd of typical children. Don't know how much it worked on her but at least I tried.
Amongst the steps we have taken with Avani so far, I am satisfied on various levels. I know she will do well ahead too. My only fear is that I may end up taking a wrong step in my over involvement in her sometimes. Our homeopath sort of bluntly told me yesterday that I am a 'control freak', he advised that I take a dispassionate view of my child's condition. Yappy complemented his view quite well. He says that if we zoom in on a subject too closely, the picture becomes hazy, zoom out a little and you can have a perfect frame with a perfect picture.
It holds true for us. There are so many different therapies, medicines and strategies explored all over the world to help children on the spectrum. It is impossible to explore everything for your child. The best solution sometimes lies in the simplest of action. If a particular program is working well for a child, then there is no need to disturb it. But that doesn't mean that you shut your eyes to anything. You can always learn about new developments and apply some if you get stuck at a certain level.
I know of so many parents who flatly refuse to get some basic allergy tests done on their children because they fear that if the child turns out allergic to some basic food items, they may have to alter their life style forever! But this is sort of cheating the child and denying him/her a healthy life. We got a complete allergy test done on Avani recently. She turned out allergic to Milk and all dairy products, almonds and even onions!
Unknowingly, we were feeding her things which her system was allergic to. Following a diet without milk, onions and gluten is just going to be a small sacrifice for a larger benefit. That's why it is better to be aware and be prepared than be sorry later. And who knows, may be this small action of diet control can lead me to unravel the hyperactive behavior mystery of my child!
Avani and I are indeed walking together. In fact, our entire family is taking this walk with us. Those small-small milestones that parents of typical kids take for granted mean so much for a child on the spectrum. I remember the joy we felt when Avani started imitating actions and sounds last year. Our excitement knew no bounds. I could just go on and on hear her repeat mama, papa, nona, nani, dada, dadi after me!!! Even going on to enjoy her repeat silly sounds like 'kee-koo', 'pee-po' blah blah!!!
While we do spend a lot of time cribbing and crying over what we don't have, appreciation for what we do takes a back seat. I get to meet mothers of children with special needs almost on a daily basis. In one of our conversations, a mother of an autistic child said, "isse to acha isse CP(Cerebral Palsy) hota, at least we wouldn't have to worry about cognitive development and hyperactivity." Imagine the plight of a mother who is asking for one disability to replace another. As a parent on the spectrum, the first lesson that one learns is not to judge any parent. We do encounter innumerable difficulties in dealing with our children on a daily basis. May be her child gave her a hard time that day. But my assurance to her was only to be thankful to God for small mercies. Look at the fact that your child has no physical disability. If we work hard on our autistic children, it will be much easier for them to mix up in a crowd of typical children. Don't know how much it worked on her but at least I tried.
Amongst the steps we have taken with Avani so far, I am satisfied on various levels. I know she will do well ahead too. My only fear is that I may end up taking a wrong step in my over involvement in her sometimes. Our homeopath sort of bluntly told me yesterday that I am a 'control freak', he advised that I take a dispassionate view of my child's condition. Yappy complemented his view quite well. He says that if we zoom in on a subject too closely, the picture becomes hazy, zoom out a little and you can have a perfect frame with a perfect picture.
It holds true for us. There are so many different therapies, medicines and strategies explored all over the world to help children on the spectrum. It is impossible to explore everything for your child. The best solution sometimes lies in the simplest of action. If a particular program is working well for a child, then there is no need to disturb it. But that doesn't mean that you shut your eyes to anything. You can always learn about new developments and apply some if you get stuck at a certain level.
I know of so many parents who flatly refuse to get some basic allergy tests done on their children because they fear that if the child turns out allergic to some basic food items, they may have to alter their life style forever! But this is sort of cheating the child and denying him/her a healthy life. We got a complete allergy test done on Avani recently. She turned out allergic to Milk and all dairy products, almonds and even onions!
Unknowingly, we were feeding her things which her system was allergic to. Following a diet without milk, onions and gluten is just going to be a small sacrifice for a larger benefit. That's why it is better to be aware and be prepared than be sorry later. And who knows, may be this small action of diet control can lead me to unravel the hyperactive behavior mystery of my child!
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| Avani on her first birthday! |
