Denial is perhaps the first emotion that every parent who's child has ever been detected on ASD goes through.
Ditto for us.
We never went back to Dr Jyoti Bhatia. We thought she was too blunt, rather brutal. How could she judge our child in merely an hour? The label of being autistic can be life-long, we thought our child is too young to be labelled autistic. May be she is just a little delayed in a few areas. Otherwise all is well.
How can you recommend hearing test for a child who comes running in front of TV, the minute she hears her favourite song? How can you say that the child is slipping in her own world just coz she likes to play with bottles more than soft toys? How can you say that the child's social behaviour is not appropriate when she smiles often and hugs. These were some of the many puzzling thoughts in our mind as we drove back home, not talking to each other for most of the drive.
No one cried, no one pacified, we were not hysterical, we were not thinking ahead of time (at least not yet)...but we were very irritated and nervous.
We decided that there might be a few problems but we can't jump to a conclusion so soon. We came home. Spoke to family and friends. From close relatives to pure strangers - this was the time to talk to anyone and everyone. I just wanted someone to tell me firmly that Avani has no autism. She is fine and will be talking soon. Elders in the family would say that there is absolutely no problem. Some children speak as late as five years...you are unnecessarily getting worried.
Soothing words did come my way and so did some 'home remedies'. Give almonds daily, chidiya ka jhoota pani pilao, Kauvve ki jhooti roti khilao, badd ke patte pe khana khilao, nazar utarwao, sheetla mata mandir me chandi ki jeebh chadhao, astrologer se milo, play school me daal do etc etc...
I must admit - we did all of it.
Yes, even kauvve ki jhooti roti!!! (Don't ask me how) I guess rationality goes for a toss when it comes to your child. Any parent reading this blog would agree that you don't want to take any risk. You can't take a chance and annoy any God/Goddess. What's the harm if we just visit a few temples or do some charity. No harm in visiting an astrologer and performing a pooja. We did that. Even now Avani wears a green stone around her neck. Can't say if its doing any good but I like to believe that it is.
Anyway, when your first child is suspected to be on the spectrum, you don't really know what exactly to compare with other children. Whenever I compared Avani with other girls of her age, I was told that may be they are talking because they have elder brother/sister in the house, or they have single language environment, or the mother spends more time with the kid (as I had started working by now), or the standard answer - every child develops differently.
Yappy thought Avu is too arrogant to respond to her name because otherwise she can hear and respond to all the songs on 9XM all day! The fact that she was running around so much is because she is a genuinely naughty and active child. We knew that there is something a miss but we were trying to reason out the issues by labeling a lot of them as age appropriate.
Autism was an unknown territory. Until my child was suspected on the spectrum, I had no idea as to what exactly is autism? Why it happens? What's the cure? What should we do?
There is no one on either side of the family on Autism spectrum with whom we could compare our kid (at least we don't know of anyone).
We decided we will give Avani a few more months to pick up language and if even on her second birthday she is not talking, we will do 'something'. A decision that I regret now and I wish I could have started ASAP. But you can't change what has happened.
Ditto for us.
We never went back to Dr Jyoti Bhatia. We thought she was too blunt, rather brutal. How could she judge our child in merely an hour? The label of being autistic can be life-long, we thought our child is too young to be labelled autistic. May be she is just a little delayed in a few areas. Otherwise all is well.
How can you recommend hearing test for a child who comes running in front of TV, the minute she hears her favourite song? How can you say that the child is slipping in her own world just coz she likes to play with bottles more than soft toys? How can you say that the child's social behaviour is not appropriate when she smiles often and hugs. These were some of the many puzzling thoughts in our mind as we drove back home, not talking to each other for most of the drive.
No one cried, no one pacified, we were not hysterical, we were not thinking ahead of time (at least not yet)...but we were very irritated and nervous.
We decided that there might be a few problems but we can't jump to a conclusion so soon. We came home. Spoke to family and friends. From close relatives to pure strangers - this was the time to talk to anyone and everyone. I just wanted someone to tell me firmly that Avani has no autism. She is fine and will be talking soon. Elders in the family would say that there is absolutely no problem. Some children speak as late as five years...you are unnecessarily getting worried.
Soothing words did come my way and so did some 'home remedies'. Give almonds daily, chidiya ka jhoota pani pilao, Kauvve ki jhooti roti khilao, badd ke patte pe khana khilao, nazar utarwao, sheetla mata mandir me chandi ki jeebh chadhao, astrologer se milo, play school me daal do etc etc...
I must admit - we did all of it.
Yes, even kauvve ki jhooti roti!!! (Don't ask me how) I guess rationality goes for a toss when it comes to your child. Any parent reading this blog would agree that you don't want to take any risk. You can't take a chance and annoy any God/Goddess. What's the harm if we just visit a few temples or do some charity. No harm in visiting an astrologer and performing a pooja. We did that. Even now Avani wears a green stone around her neck. Can't say if its doing any good but I like to believe that it is.
Anyway, when your first child is suspected to be on the spectrum, you don't really know what exactly to compare with other children. Whenever I compared Avani with other girls of her age, I was told that may be they are talking because they have elder brother/sister in the house, or they have single language environment, or the mother spends more time with the kid (as I had started working by now), or the standard answer - every child develops differently.
Yappy thought Avu is too arrogant to respond to her name because otherwise she can hear and respond to all the songs on 9XM all day! The fact that she was running around so much is because she is a genuinely naughty and active child. We knew that there is something a miss but we were trying to reason out the issues by labeling a lot of them as age appropriate.
Autism was an unknown territory. Until my child was suspected on the spectrum, I had no idea as to what exactly is autism? Why it happens? What's the cure? What should we do?
There is no one on either side of the family on Autism spectrum with whom we could compare our kid (at least we don't know of anyone).
We decided we will give Avani a few more months to pick up language and if even on her second birthday she is not talking, we will do 'something'. A decision that I regret now and I wish I could have started ASAP. But you can't change what has happened.
I need help,can u please talk to me
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