Sometimes I wonder what is MY mark in bringing up my child. For about two years now, I am just going by what therapists or doctors tell me to do. How to talk to my child? How to modify a certain behaviour? When to ignore her? What to feed her? Which school to put her in? None of these decisions are MINE! When Avani grows up, will there be anything in her character that resembles her mother's personality? Am not sure.
Autism is a complex neurological disorder. While some children are born autistic, it can affect others any time from birth to about three years of age. It is also a spectrum disorder, which means that it affects every child differently. While some autistic children are highly functional with very few affected areas, some others may be severely affected with physical disabilities too. That's why it is believed that if you have seen one autistic child then you have seen only one. Based on the diagnosis and progress of one child, you can't predict how the other would respond.
Between 15 months to two years of age is when all sings of autism in Avani came roaring at us. We were watching her very closely, spending more time talking with her, giving her less time alone and monitoring all the habits. And of course Googling.
Some of my first few searches were "17 month old not talking"..."Toddler not responding to name"..."Milestones from birth to 17 months"...all of these searches would lead me to autism one way or the other.
In a general autism red flags check list, we were overwhelmed with the number of ticks our child got!
1. W-sitting - yes
2. Walking on toes - yes
3. Bad eye-contact - yes
4. No speech - yes
5. No interest in peer group - yes
6. Fixations like rocking, spinning - yes
7. Lining of toys - yes
8. Doesn't acknowledge parents presence or absence -yes
9. Excessive tolerance to pain- yes
10. And of course Hyperactive - yes yes yes
How could I miss all of this?
On Dr. Jyoti Bhatia's recommendation, we also took a hearing test when Avu was 17 months. I remember each and every moment of that day. Before going for the test Yappy and I were secretly hoping that Avu fails it. May be she is 'just' hard of hearing that's why not responding to name and commands, may be there's just some wax accumulation in the ear drum and it can be sorted soon. These would have been relatively 'smaller' issues to deal with.
Seeing all those electrodes pasted on our toddlers skull for about an hour was one of the many heart breaking moments ahead. Within a couple of hours the test report was out. Avu has NO hearing issues. She can hear every sound at every frequency. Her brain responded to it.
Right...so there is no hardware issue, there's a software issue here. She can hear everything but still not responding to most of it. Why? Because her nerves are not sending the right signals to her brain to extract a response.
We were recommended speech therapy for her. We were back home with more questions than answers once again. I started talking to a lot of people.Colleagues, friends, pediatricians. I spoke to a very senior development pediatrician. She is not practicing anymore and I have forgotten her name unfortunately. Her advise was simple - TRUST YOUR INSTINCT.
She said, a mother's instinct never goes wrong. If you think there's something wrong with your child, then do something about it. Don't listen to anyone else, just listen to your instinct.
I started taking Avani for speech therapy at ASHA Speech Centre in a few months. I had given advance fee for ten sessions but I withdrew her after four sessions only.
For the entire one-hour session, my child would just cry non-stop. The therapists' approach was to get the words out of Avani's mouth by luring her to a toy or candy or anything that she likes. But it was just not working. Those four sessions were perhaps the most torturous four hours of my motherhood so far.
I decided that even if Avani needs help, this is not the place or therapist where it's coming from.
A friend forwarded us the link of a homeopath in Chandigarh who claims to treat Autism. We went to meet him and started with his medicines ASAP. But by this time we were aware that only homeopathy is not going to help. We needed therapies and we needed to meet the right people.
I spoke to a former colleague who's daughter was also on spectrum as a toddler. His guidance I cherish dearly and without his help perhaps, I would have struggled a lot more and wasted more time.
He told us to meet Dr. Amit Sen of Children's First and get Avani's correct diagnosis. That was summer of 2013 and there is no looking back since then.
Autism is a complex neurological disorder. While some children are born autistic, it can affect others any time from birth to about three years of age. It is also a spectrum disorder, which means that it affects every child differently. While some autistic children are highly functional with very few affected areas, some others may be severely affected with physical disabilities too. That's why it is believed that if you have seen one autistic child then you have seen only one. Based on the diagnosis and progress of one child, you can't predict how the other would respond.
Between 15 months to two years of age is when all sings of autism in Avani came roaring at us. We were watching her very closely, spending more time talking with her, giving her less time alone and monitoring all the habits. And of course Googling.
Some of my first few searches were "17 month old not talking"..."Toddler not responding to name"..."Milestones from birth to 17 months"...all of these searches would lead me to autism one way or the other.
In a general autism red flags check list, we were overwhelmed with the number of ticks our child got!
1. W-sitting - yes
2. Walking on toes - yes
3. Bad eye-contact - yes
4. No speech - yes
5. No interest in peer group - yes
6. Fixations like rocking, spinning - yes
7. Lining of toys - yes
8. Doesn't acknowledge parents presence or absence -yes
9. Excessive tolerance to pain- yes
10. And of course Hyperactive - yes yes yes
How could I miss all of this?
On Dr. Jyoti Bhatia's recommendation, we also took a hearing test when Avu was 17 months. I remember each and every moment of that day. Before going for the test Yappy and I were secretly hoping that Avu fails it. May be she is 'just' hard of hearing that's why not responding to name and commands, may be there's just some wax accumulation in the ear drum and it can be sorted soon. These would have been relatively 'smaller' issues to deal with.
Seeing all those electrodes pasted on our toddlers skull for about an hour was one of the many heart breaking moments ahead. Within a couple of hours the test report was out. Avu has NO hearing issues. She can hear every sound at every frequency. Her brain responded to it.
Right...so there is no hardware issue, there's a software issue here. She can hear everything but still not responding to most of it. Why? Because her nerves are not sending the right signals to her brain to extract a response.
We were recommended speech therapy for her. We were back home with more questions than answers once again. I started talking to a lot of people.Colleagues, friends, pediatricians. I spoke to a very senior development pediatrician. She is not practicing anymore and I have forgotten her name unfortunately. Her advise was simple - TRUST YOUR INSTINCT.
She said, a mother's instinct never goes wrong. If you think there's something wrong with your child, then do something about it. Don't listen to anyone else, just listen to your instinct.
I started taking Avani for speech therapy at ASHA Speech Centre in a few months. I had given advance fee for ten sessions but I withdrew her after four sessions only.
For the entire one-hour session, my child would just cry non-stop. The therapists' approach was to get the words out of Avani's mouth by luring her to a toy or candy or anything that she likes. But it was just not working. Those four sessions were perhaps the most torturous four hours of my motherhood so far.
I decided that even if Avani needs help, this is not the place or therapist where it's coming from.
A friend forwarded us the link of a homeopath in Chandigarh who claims to treat Autism. We went to meet him and started with his medicines ASAP. But by this time we were aware that only homeopathy is not going to help. We needed therapies and we needed to meet the right people.
I spoke to a former colleague who's daughter was also on spectrum as a toddler. His guidance I cherish dearly and without his help perhaps, I would have struggled a lot more and wasted more time.
He told us to meet Dr. Amit Sen of Children's First and get Avani's correct diagnosis. That was summer of 2013 and there is no looking back since then.
Its heart warming reading your Motherhood experience. Its been a difficult phase but as you wrote in the end there is no looking back, thats the thing which makes us to keep going. Am sure reading your experience would help many other parents. I feel d toughest time has pass and this one will fade away soon. Your hard work is paying off and Avani will come to full required activity soon. Wishing you all d very best
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