It's a marathon not a sprint...

When you finally come to accept that autism has hit your family, the first thing you wanna do is dig out the reason. You are constantly bothered by the 'why me' question. Was there anything wrong in the way I carried my baby during pregnancy? Did I eat anything wrong? Did I unknowingly expose her to harmful chemicals or rays? Is it my genes? My husband's genes?

The sad part is that there is no clear/100 per cent/convincing answer to it. A condition (autism) that has turned your world upside down is so cruel that it doesn't even tell you why you are the 'chosen one'?

This question doesn't leave your head even when you start with therapies. But you need to start and start early. When we met Dr. Amit Sen (Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist), we were sort of calmed down by him. He came across as a very learned, easy going doctor, who knows exactly what he is doing and what is he talking about. After an hour long session with him, we were guided to a few therapists and were asked  more questions about Avani to determine all the issues at hand.

It turned out that Avani has some sensory issues too (more on that later). This means that she has to be started on a sensory integration therapy which will be a part of Occupational Therapy, speech therapy and special education will constitute her Early Intervention Program (EIP). Now consider this - You know there is a problem with your child, you have been educated about the best possible 'cure', but you still can't start! Why? Because each therapy center has a long waiting list of children who need help!!!

So we waited and bugged therapists with our request to enroll Avu for a few weeks, before we finally got a call to join EIP at Milestones in Kalkaji. It started with 45 minute sessions of OT thrice a week. Avu would be placed on a baby seat in the car while I drive her to the center. So the first task at hand was to get her to sit on her seat and wear the belt! Not so easy as it sounds. I have driven to Kalkaji in maddening traffic trying to bear Avu's kicks and screams on one hand and maneuvering the car safely at the same time. Her tantrums wouldn't just end at that. For the first six months at least, Avu just couldn't adjust to the therapy schedule. At least twice in a week, she would cry out loud for the entire 45 minutes of a session. Not willing to obey, not willing to sit in one place, not willing to part with a toy, not willing to sit on a swing, not willing to do a certain exercise. Her screams would reach the waiting area for parents loud and clear. People would generally discuss, who's child is it and my hand would go up immediately to cover up for the embarrassment.

When you start going for therapies, you see positive changes in your child on a daily basis. You start believing that its just a matter of time that your child will be back to 'normal' and this gruel will be over. But then you meet parents who are coming to the center for several years and are still waiting. You see children at various points on the spectrum. Some are not even verbal, some have physical difficulties, a lot of them have a lot of issues from as small as bad hand writing to as big as no understanding.

You need to quickly accept that this race is not going to be a sprint it is a marathon indeed. But by this analogy, there has to be a finishing line! And am running...